xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: Hey a Curvy Mom, I love your blog content and the advice you share on Sunday’s. Thanks for being authentic and keeping your human style, without converting to the new aged media only chasing celebrity gossip.
Anyhoo, I run a virtual assistant business that has been booming for the past two years. I have been able to quit my full-time job, hire my husband and my children on the weekends. I love the idea of working with my family, BUT they are super hard to manage because they only see me as MOM or WIFE. I’ve spoken to them plenty of times, but they don’t listen. We have hired a business coach, therapists and taken classes, but nothing works. They don’t respect my boundaries that it’s MY BUSINESS and I make the final decisions. I know what is best for my company. What should I do?
Answer:
Understanding the boundaries between business and family is very important in the development of both. Hence, it’s very important to make those distinctions early so they do not intermingle. In other words, rules and expectations need to be understood early so that when you are being a mom you are that title and when you are the boss you are leading in that role. If this continues to be misconstrued, you may want to consider hiring outside people because the flip side to this is: Don’t mix business with pleasure. If the business is hurting the family (and vice versa) then you need to take proactive precautions before it hurts both scenarios.
Related article: xoSelf: I am a Great Chef with no Family Support
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.