xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: I work hard. I am climbing the corporate ladder, attending every PTA, and doctor’s appointment, and never missing cooking dinner for my family. I give my boyfriend his attention and still find time for me-time. But every day, I wake up with an empty void that I am missing something. I feel depressed and empty inside. The thing is, I don’t know what I’m missing. I have a great life balance, friends, family, and career – but I can’t help but feel that I want more. More out of this life. What am I missing, and am I asking for too much to have it all?
Answer:
Nothing is wrong with having it all… However, the question is: What do you do when you do have it all? It sounds like you’re in a place where you have some time to explore your life a bit deeper. Most people do not have that luxury because of time, financial hardship, health, etc. So, when you are in a position to do more, I encourage you to 1) Meditate and/or journal daily because the more you clear your mind, the more room you make for creativity. Number 2) Consider volunteering. Again, to be in a place where you can dwell deeper in your life is a privilege. Ergo, consider connecting with the community by offering your talents freely to expand your networks while helping those that are in need. This is why I constantly tell my young people to, ‘get lost!” By that, I mean get lost in the world by giving of yourself more to find yourself! You’d be surprised what comes when you give to others and expect nothing in return.
Related article: How Meditation can Change Your Life, Busy Moms Included
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.