Life after 35 . . .
Less than a month ago I reached the milestone of turning thirty-five. As women, we are naturally hard on ourselves, but when it comes to timelines, we take it to a whole new level. Setting goals on marriage, kids, careers, buying a home, even shopping for expensive purchases.
Then there is the pressure of society, a.k.a. social media. The pressure for women in their late twenties and thirties to be mothers, bossed up, and to have a significant other.
Ladies, how many times have you scrolled through Instagram and saw women who appear to have it all?! The children, a husband, vacations in Italy, luxury handbags, cars, along with a booming business. And you wonder to yourself while sitting at your 9 to 5, where did I go wrong? Let me be the first to tell you, No-where! You are exactly where you should be. We cannot get caught up in the superficial lives of people on Instagram. I’ll tell you a secret: They make money off portraying images of the lifestyle everyone “thinks they want.” They will never show you the behind the scenes of what their life is really like.
Social media star Kylie Jenner, spent her twenty-second birthday on a $250 million yacht with her close family and friends, including her daughter’s father, Travis Scott. Not saying she faking it for the gram (the key source of marketing her brands), but shortly after her birthday the couple of two years have reportedly split. The popular duo has not been seen together in public since Scott’s premiere of Look Mom I Can Fly. Several pictures from her lavish birthday celebration with Scott has been removed from Instagram.
We all have those friends whose life on social media appears to be perfect, but you know the real story. The husband sleeps on the couch and the kids are out of control. Don’t be fooled by the pretty Photoshopped pictures.
Honest moment . . . My honey and I are approaching our one-year anniversary and I did tell him that I want an engagement ring. I mean heck, I’m thirty-five, and he’s well, older, so what are we waiting for? The clock is ticking. This is my aggressive moment. Many would say I’m crazy for giving him an ultimatum, but I don’t think so. We both know what we want, and I know for a fact I don’t want my two little ones to see me shacking up, definitely not long term. I want to show my daughter that you set standards for yourself and stick to them. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but that is mine; you can only get the milk for free for so long without putting a ring on it.
Last night I had a brief five-minute break between this and that and found myself watching reruns of Sex & the City. This used to be my favorite show in my late teens. It’s amazing how watching it back then and now again in my thirties the takeaway is completely different. I’m in Season 3, where the women are in their mid-thirties and in the middle of figuring out the balance between career and relationships.
Charlotte is desperate to be married; she even set a goal to marry this year with no man in sight. Carrie is dating a handsome furniture designer, but also sleeping with her married ex, who is also the love of her life; marriage is completely off her radar. Samantha has zero desire to get married or even stay in a committed relationship; she is enjoying her success and what life is offering. Miranda, on the other hand, has a boyfriend who wants to take their relationship to the next level by moving in, but she’s afraid of the “what happens next” phase; she is scared but also feeling the pressure of I should be thinking of babies and moving in together.
Single at thirty-five, you have the choice to go left of marriage or right. I want to explore life a little more. Ignore the pressure from society and that relative at the Thanksgiving table. Enjoy your life! Travel, drink, kiss, make a mistake, fall in love, and then decide.
Are you Charlotte, Samantha, Carrie, or Miranda?
