xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: My children’s father has a new woman in his life that is here to stay. He would like us to meet briefly at first since she will be around the kids. He wants to bring her to my house and have me come out to the car for our first introduction; I felt that we should meet at the park or over coffee first to actually have a chance to exchange more than a hello; he disagrees. Am I wrong?
Answer: This is one of those things that you have to remind yourself that this is not about you, him or her….but it’s about your child. While you may want to make an extended effort; your child’s father may not be ready yet. So don’t assume that a simple drive-by “hello” will not turn into a, “see you later and maybe we can grab drinks one day.” That is to say, start small and then build your way up. Once boundaries, expectations, etc., are met, then build from there.
Related article: Managing Stress Guide for Mompreneurs During the Pandemic
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-basedinstitutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he
has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to