xoSelf: Remain Business Partners or Co-Parent Only

xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.

Dear xoSelf: My soon to be ex-husband and I share a full-time business together with a second business we run for our children until they are of age. A few months ago he told me that he is leaving me for our assistant, but still wants us to resume business partners. I am beyond devastated right now, but feel in a few months I may be mentally ready to run a business with my ex-spouse. However, I don’t know. What should I do? 

Answer: Being co-owners of a business requires both commitment and dedication.  Much of that requires that we separate business from our personal lives.  The question you need to ask yourself is – How are you going to (re)adapt yourself to the business now that your personal life has changed.  Will business go as usual? Can you keep a professional face and demeanor while working with your ex and his new partner/your assistant?  I recommend that as co-owner of your business that you address this and any other concerns now that the personal side of the business has been altered.  Re-defining what to expect of all parties despite the personal history is important for the longevity of the business.  However, do not deny your personal side and give yourself time to reflect and meditate on how to best move forward without hindering family and work life.  

Related article: Ask The Virgo Girl: Turning a Business Relationship into a Personal One 

Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based
institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he
has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.