xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: My fifteen year old suffers from ADHD and behavioral issues. He is the sweetest kid most times, but he has become very confrontational, acting out at school and everything out of his mouth lately has been negative. His father is not in the picture and it’s really only me giving him guidance. I love my son dearly but he’s driving me crazy. I no longer want to be around him half the time. He’s making me resent him; is this normal with raising a teen?
Answer: It sure is normal! And it’s even more so when dad is not in the picture. Raising a man as a woman is not easy and some of that acting out has to do with not having that male/fatherly figure around. But that is not always the case. Teens acting out is because they are experiencing real life things that they cannot comprehend (i.e. identity, dating, biological changes, etc.). Ergo, I would consider involving him in activities with positive role models (mainly male figures) such as coaching, sports, teen group meet ups, after school programming, etc. If you need coaching, let me know as I do one-on-one coaching with youth!. Please visit: www.KnowThyShelf.tv
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.