Ashley Burton is a girl who stays close to her roots and what inspires her. She is empowered to inspire others and lives a positive life. Like everyones she is filled with ups and downs, but learns and grows from each of her experiences. We chatted with the blogger and website maven to learn more about her mission and how “The Girl with the Black Pearls” came to be.
Give us the 4-1-1 of the ever so popular blogging life and what category you fall under?
I’m a bit of a weird one; I’m not quite sure what category I fall under. My blogs are inspirational/life lessons so I guess I fall under the inspirational category. I have been trying to make some connections with other bloggers and social media has helped with that tremendously. The blogger community is so much bigger and lovelier than I expected!
What was your inspiration to become a blogger?
I went through a heartbreaking break up in 2013 and I needed a way to help me build my confidence up again and a way to process through the pain by way of creative expression. So I decided to start blogging but I placed some stipulations on myself. If I could not vulnerable and authentic (even to the point of exposing some of the most well hidden parts of myself when necessary), I would not do it. If telling my story did not end with a lesson learned or some sort of encouragement for myself and others, I would not do it. This forced me to not simply use this resource to just vent but to really expose the process of my healing to the world in hopes that someone who might be going through something similar would know that they aren’t alone. These days, my posts are less about dealing with heartbreak (thank God!) and more about other “life in general” situations but the same rules that I originally set for myself still apply.
What is your passion and how you are you fulfilling it?
I am passionate about mental health, family strengthening, and empowerment. I am in my last semester of my Master of Arts in Professional Counseling program. If I decide to pursue a doctorate degree, which is likely, I would like to be in a program that focuses on marriage and family. I hope to use all my education and experiences to do some good work in the communities that I serve.
As a preacher’s kid you have a natural urge of love, to support and purpose for helping others…how do you help women?
I try my best to use what I have to lift women up. On the website, I have highlighted several women entrepreneurs and those doing great work in their communities. I have been doing more reading on the phenomenon of the “strong black woman” and how that is leading to many Black women suffering in silence from either mental or physical illness. I hope to use all those resources in order to incorporate them into my future research, teaching, and counseling. I also strive to advocate for women in spiritual/theological/faith spaces, where the contributions and even value of women are too often overlooked or are severely downplayed.
I know personally that you recently spent time out of the country how was that experience, any blog inspiration found there?
I studied abroad for six months in 2008 in Rouen, France. It was absolutely life-changing. I wish I could have the experience again. In fact, that was when I set up my first blog. It is still accessible at: thebeautifulfacade.blogspot.com.
What do you think stands out on your blog from the numerous blogs that launch daily?
I believe my voice is specific. My biggest goal is authenticity. I’d love to be well known and for my blog to reach thousands but I believe that every time I hit “publish”, that post will reach exactly who needs to read it. My story and my authenticity may not suit everyone but it works for someone out there. And I want to remain determined to be true to that core of my brand.
The hair…beautiful – how do you maintain your natural look?
LOL. So. My hair has gone through so many changes since I graduated high school ten years ago. It was long and relaxed. After my sophomore year, I cut it into a bob and it was still relaxed (I eventually went about a year without a relaxer which was interesting). I grew it back out after a few year and while I was in the middle of going through my healing process from the break up, I cut my hair into a cute short cut and it was still relaxed. In December of last year, I decided that I wanted to try the “natural” thing one more time. So I’m technically about 7 months into it and was just seriously contemplating relaxing it again just two weeks ago! I say all that to say – I have no clue what I’m doing with this hair. Thankfully, my hair is super thick which is proving to be more beneficial with natural styles than when my hair was relaxed. I have had my hair in numerous protective braided styles within the past months, which happen to work for me thankfully. I attribute my current style to my stylist Chelita Dyson. She helped me to believe I could continue on in this natural journey.
What do you love about blogging and being in this space? What’s the highlight of your career thus far?
I love the process of putting a blog together. It is rare that I sit down and just type. I get inspiration from anywhere and I’ll jot a few things down in my handy-dandy notes app on my iPhone. Or if I’m experiencing something in my life and a different perspective comes to me, I try to write it down when I get the idea. As I start the actual blog post, my mind is constantly considering and reconsidering. It can be exhausting when the inspiration doesn’t come as easily but I find that generally those posts are the most popular ones. It’s always surprising. And of course when people reach out to me to say that a post helped/encouraged them. I tear up most times because that’s what I believe this is about for me. That is the highlight reel of this experience for me.
Is blogging more of a hobby for you or something you would consider doing for profit?
I have struggled with this for a while. Earning money for what I love would be lovely, of course, but I struggle with the idea of what might come with monetizing the blog. This is my blog, my brand, but also an extension of my life’s ministry. So I’m still thinking about how I want to grow and nurture it.
What advice would you give a freshman blogger for building relationships?
SUPPORT. I am a firm believer in the principle of sowing and reaping so I believe that if you give support, you will receive it. Also, utilze hashtags and social media chats. My favorite is Brown Girl Bloggers on Twitter. Through that group, I have met some wonderful fellow bloggers and am working on some collaborations currently.
Have you attended any Blogger events? If so what are your favorites?
I have not yet, unfortunately. I have been busy trying to finish up the requirements of my graduate program, which has included requiring me to pick up and move to Macon, GA for eight months out of this year for internships. Once I complete this degree, I will have more time to attend some blogger events.
Who are you favorite fellow bloggers?
Jade Perry, Rachel Held Evans, Mattie James, Maya Elious, Latisha Styles, Kara Frison, Luvvie!!
What is next for Girl with Black Pearls and Ashley?
For me – Hopefully, this finished Masters degree, a doctoral program, and knocking down some more personal goals (licensure, certifications, maybe marriage and family?).
For The Girl with Black Pearls – The brand turns 2 on August 8! My hope for the coming years is a growing readership, some more projects under the brand, and possibly some meet ups across the country to have real conversations.
Virgo Girls 5 things to ask…
What would you tell your twenty-year-old self?
I would tell my 20-year-old self to be sure to be gentle with herself and love herself deeply. Life certainly goes on even when plans fall apart so be sure to write all plans in pencil in order to make the necessary adjustments.
I start my day with…
sixteen ounces of water and music (usually some of my favorite lesser-known artists such as PJ Morton and Shaun Martin). Music is so powerful and it can help shape my day greatly and prepare me mentally for what I have ahead.
If you could invite any woman to dinner who would it be and why?
I would invite First Lady Michelle Obama to dinner. As cliché as that might seem, I really think that she would be a fun dinner date with so much wisdom to give and so many shared laughs. I also think I would feel free to still be myself around her, which would enrich the experience because she would be able to share with me not just based on what I ask but perhaps on what she sees in me as a younger Black woman.
Best advice you have received?
Struggle is good because it indicates that you have not succumbed to that with which you are struggling. You’re still pushing and you haven’t laid down to whatever it is. Keep fighting.
Life motto you live by…
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward.” – Soren Kierkegaard