When you start dating someone whom you are extraordinarily attracted to, sex is inevitably going to become a hot topic. Some couples choose to wait until marriage for intimacy and that is perfectly fine; for those not going this route, sex is a healthy part of any relationship. It can even make or break couples if the sex does not live up to expectations but we will save that for another conversation. Many often ask, “How often should couples have sex?”
This is a loaded question and there are a number of answers but before we even go there, let’s address something far more important: the personal sexual questions.
Yes, hormones are raging and yes, the person you are with is giving you all the feels but STOP. Time to feel the situation out and be slightly logical and a tad rational before losing your mind in a sex haze. Are you completely sure you are ready to be intimate with your new partner? Do you trust them? Maybe you do not know the answers yet but one thing you should know is about safety. When sleeping with a new partner, you do not know their sexual past and until you do, always be as safe as possible and if they are not in agreement with that plan, run for the hills. Are you comfortable buying protection on your own? If you are not, chances are you should not be intimate in the first place. This is just the beginning but it is the bare basics before beginning a sexual relationship with your partner.
On to how much sex is normal. To be fair, there is no “correct” answer.
Every couple is different so expectations need to be thrown out the window. I have surveyed my couple friends and the general consensus is, drum roll please . . . two to three times per week. New couples tend to have sex more frequently as the curiosity to explore each other and learn each other’s bodies is heightened. Also, the adrenaline is high so expect it a lot. But, there are factors to consider.
How often do you see each another? Do you both go to school or work full-time, thus only permitting a couple of date nights each week? Does one partner have a child that needs attention so that kind of ruins the mood? Does one of you still live at home? Are one of you on an antidepressant or medication that inhibits sexual desire? There are so many reasons that can limit sexual intimacy but here’s the good news: We are all made differently. Our relationships are not identical and we are individuals, living our own lives and finding our own happiness.
Whatever makes a couple sexually happy and satisfied in their relationship is what matters.
The average is two to three times per week but there is nothing wrong with more or less or engaging in foreplay activities that can be just as fulfilling. As long as everyone is happy and feeling fulfilled, that is all that matters. The moment that starts to fade, then changes need to be made. Make sense?