xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: I am struggling with finding my confidence back after having a new baby nine months old. I feel like my life or my body will never be the same. I am not with my daughter’s father and have no male friends that can really give me the body-confidence I need. I know that I should seek this within myself before someone else, but you know sometimes a girl just needs to hear it from someone else to confirm it. Any advice on ways to start getting my groove back?
Answer: Sounds like to me that you need a male coach! Individualized coaching can help you with the skills and feedback that you want to get back into shape. In addition to that, a male coach can give you that third party/neutral perspective because part of his regimen should include expectations based around your goals. Alternatively, there are thousands of at-home apps for weight loss that you can use so you can workout on your own time (and space). Lastly, consider joining a weight loss group. As an alternative to having one-on-one coaching, a group dynamic allows you the opportunity to not only lose weight, but also mingle with other people including men!
Related Article: Why You Should Wear Your Confidence (and Own It!)
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-basedinstitutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he
has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to