We are so excited to partner with Dr. Walter Hidalgo with a goal of being more socially aware. Here, he answers your questions and shares advice on life and wellness while living in a social media-driven world.
DEAR THE VIRGO GIRL,
My boyfriend told me that either I lose 50lbs or he will leave me because my health is at risk. I will admit that I have gained some weight since we’ve been together but he is being cruel at how he is going about telling me to lose weight. I really love him but I don’t know if I can stand to be around his verbal abuse any longer. I know he is trying to be helpful underneath it all, but should I leave?
Advice from Walter: I think verbal abuse of any kind is not good for anyone. However, how people show “tough love” depends a lot on their own upbringing. In other words, how we treat other people (including ourselves) in a lot of ways is a reflection of our child upbringing and the choices/decisions that we made over the course of our life. So, there may be something deeper than what I am hearing in regards to your partner. But nevertheless, any lifestyle change, like the one you are making in trying to lose weight, takes time and commitment. So, with that being said, this process of transformation requires a healthy balance between your workout regimen and your relationship. Ultimately, the two should complement each other (i.e. support each other, cheer each other on, etc.) and not cause tension between you both. If this is something that you both want then you both have to establish rules and regulations in the same way you would if he was trying to lose weight or, – to use a different example- if you were trying to go back to school. Change is hard but it is harder when you don’t have the support you need to get there so if this is the change that you want to make it must first be inspired by yourself and then transferred over to your partner. If there is no mutual understanding then the change/goal/”deadline” will never be achieved because as the old saying goes – there is no “I” in team. Good luck!
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