Welcome to a Curvy Mom Blog. We are uber excited to have you within our community to share your story.
MEET FRANDASIA WILLIAMS FOUNDER OF SELF-CARE & WELLNESS
Have you always been into self-care or was it a journey? Please share your journey:
A: It was definitely a journey. Over the past few years, I have made my healing and inner peace a priority. Through that I was able to fall deeper in love with myself. When you fall in love with yourself, you realize the importance of taking care of yourself, just as you would take care of another person you loved. But in short, in the beginning I was completely unaware of the harm I inflicted on myself by not practicing self-care and self-love.
How do you self-care and balance life; especially with running a business?
A: I am a strong believer and advocate for listening to your body and even beyond that listening to your soul. It can be a task in itself and I continue to develop this skill by checking in with myself daily. There are days when I get everything done on my lists and there are days when I get nothing done on my list. Both are valid and both are ok. I avoid judging myself in productive moments and my recharge moment. I describe this as being gentle with myself and I encourage a practice of gentleness.
How can women on-the-go self-care daily?
A: We overthink it. Self-care can be the simplest of activites and a great deal of it is making a consistent effort to meet your daily needs such as eating and drinking water. For the women on-the-go I always recommend scheduling your self-care. Add it into your planner or daily schedule and check it off your to do lists as you do all your other tasks. And I say this while also encouraging that you don’t overthink it. You can literally set an alarm and put in the description, breathe. You can do something similar and remind yourself to eat, drink fluids, get some sun, or move your body. Building these small habits leads to the behavioral shift where practicing your self-care becomes automatic.
What systems/programs do you use to help with time management and organization to better your business success?
A: I am huge on having a list. There is a fine line with this though. I also believe in microstepping. I focus on making smaller lists of attainable goals. This way, I feel productive and proud of myself versus overwhelmed. For me, my max number of items per day and per list is about 3-5 and at least 1-2 of those are self-care tasks. Part of being a successful business owner is having the discipline to keep yourself on tasks. Scheduling my day assists me with staying on tasks. I also believe in outsourcing when necessary and accessible. You don’t have to do everything and in all honestly you are not able to be great at everything either. There are tasks I outsource help for so I can focus on the other tasks and keep things moving forward. You can do this also without revenue by trading or bartering with other business owners who are in need of your services as well. I also set clear boundaries. One of them is when my eyes start to roll to the back of my head (due to sleepiness), I close the computer and go to bed. There is very little that can be accomplished when you’re sleepy and what is completed might not always be coherent (at least in my experience). It’s better to just go to sleep in most cases.
Related article: 6 Ways Virtual Assistants can Help Grow your Business
What is your why; why help guide others on the journey of self-care & wellness?
A: I wasn’t always in this positive space. I thrived through depression, anxiety, and bouts of loneliness. When I was struggling with my mental health and learning how to heal my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self I felt so alone. I didn’t have anyone who fully understood, allowed me to be in my current state without judgment, or trying to fix me. Being black and on top of that being a black woman, my attempts to receive help and support were curtailed with shame and guilt. I was expected to be strong and when I no longer had the strength no one knew what to say to me or how to help me. So, I had to learn to help myself. I found my own therapist and began to develop my own healing journey. Soon after, I began to be surrounded by the right people who were able to guide me and support me the way I desired to be supported at that time. Through it I discovered my own calling to be a facilitator of healing. My why is to ensure no other woman feels alone on her healing journey as I did. You don’t have to do it alone. You should feel safe and supported as you navigate your healing journey without being shamed, guilted, or doubted in your religion or beliefs. I created my company to fill this need and especially to start a dialogue about mental health amongst black women and women of color.
Your Bohemian Spiritual Picnic events are beautiful; can you tell us more about this and who should attend; how do these events help with self-care wellness?
A: I love these picnics! I partnered with another small business founded and ran by two sisters, Marina and Alexis of Livin’ Luxe Picnics! We met in the very park where we host our picnics in Charlotte, NC. I had the idea of creating a luxury picnic as a setting and safe space for deeper internal healing and soul connection work. Wealth, luxury, love, joy, and abundance are all our birthright and the picnic is a culmination of all these things. We break bread and share a beautiful charcuterie board composed by our partner, @prettyplatterplanner on instagram. We partner the charcuterie with champagne, sparkling water, and other beverages. We then begin to commune with one another and connect spiritually. I then lead the participants through a guided healing session and soul chat. We culminate our evening with a yoga practice. This is the ultimate self-care and wellness event with a special focus on healing at the soul level. The event is for women who enjoy treating and spoiling themselves or are ready to begin! And mostly, for women who are ready to begin healing and to experience a life transformation. Right now, we are stationed in Charlotte, NC however my goal is to expand into other cities and even countries.
What is a typical day like for you? How many hours do you spend on your business? Please breakdown by hours (7:00 am, 8:00 am etc.).
A: In all honesty, I am a very fluid person and no 2 days are the same. My desire to start a business was rooted in freedom. Freedom to set my own schedule, freedom to work as much or as little as I desire, freedom to stop when I am ready, or start something new. There are days when I don’t get started until 3pm and I complete self-care in the morning. There are other days where I work from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. I make it more about completing my tasks and less about time. This works for me and although less traditional, it flows for me. It feels more natural. I completely reject the 9-5pm mindset. I am on my own schedule and I love it!
Your Facebook group 90 Days of self-care: who would this be effective for?
A: Any woman who is ready to put herself first, but may not be sure where to start! I share daily tips, advice, and guidance for self-care while also being very real and honest about the ups and downs it comes with. I do not lie to people. I am very open about all stages of the process because nothing is all roses and we need support through it all.
Self-care and self-love is a popular trend of 2022. Do you find that clients are easily obtained or has it been a challenge; how do you handle it?
A: I don’t like to think of it as a challenge because that in my mind creates resistance. I am currently developing and executing a new strategy that has been more effective. My business is new and has already been through many changes. It started out as a solo travel blog, then developed into a virtual yoga program, and now one on one coaching. Due to the shifts, I have had some stay and some transition out. Positive word of mouth has absolutely been my best form of advertising. However, 2021 was not my favorite year. My clients significantly dropped off and so did many opportunities that just phased out at no fault to me. I decided to start 2022 with new energy and new strategies. That is how 90 Days of Self Care was birthed!
Do you feel men, black men specifically, should self-care more and why?
A: Yes, none of us are machines, but that doesn’t mean we were not bred to be. Breaking this systematic training and traumatic response to life is essential for our well being and quality of life. In my work, I focus on women. However, there are communities where the emphasis is on black men’s self-care and mental health and I hope in the future these spaces continue to grow.
What books would you recommend for entrepreneurs to read? Any books that inspire you?
A: The Alchemist was a beautiful and inspiring read for me. I always recommend that and The Four Agreements. I read a lot that develops my own self, because I understand all things grow from the root. If the roots are rotted, the plant cannot survive. So, I am currently focusing on developing strong roots. I am working through The Power of Now as well which was recommended to me.
How did you grow your customer base and following?
A: I emailed everyone I knew for starters and that worked well for me. I was already walking in the energy of what my business led to so what I created did not feel out of left field. Everyone was more so like, “Yea of course you’re doing that.” I also asked for referrals and that worked wonders for me and I collected reviews. Building a following is a slow roll to fame (and I do not mean literal fame, that is not what I am after). I just mean it takes time and consistency. I focus on consistency, authenticity, and transparency. That has led me to a genuine audience of followers who are actually there for my content and my work vs my pictures if you catch my drift.
How do you balance social media marketing and the day to day administrative tasks of running a business?
A: Scheduling it out is super supportive. I have “film days” where I make a bunch of content and have it ready to drip out. That way I do not have to scramble to get something together or find the energy in my day to day. I also like auto posting. On facebook, I am able to pre schedule posts for my groups which keeps me consistent. I will move into this strategy soon for instagram as well. If I have a strong post with a great message, I copy it and also send it as an email. I try not to over email and also have different tags to make sure that everyone doesn’t always get everything. Auto scheduling is also helpful for administrative tasks and so is having templates ready. I truly believe in working smarter not harder.
How do you protect your peace with clients (business relationships); what boundaries do you set?
A: When we initially meet, I state my boundaries. We are not in a season of confusion. I am very clear about what I provide and what I do not provide. I also make it very clear that I do not encourage attachments or codependency. I empower you to be able to support yourself by revealing the tools and intuition that you already possess. There will be days where you cannot locate those tools and I am here for you, but I do not enable. You do not need me. You need you .. and you have you. I am not on call and/or bound to my phone or computer. Setting these boundaries upfront reminds my clients in these times to go into their own toolbox and reach out to me if they find they need extra support. I also energetically make sure I am in the right space to work with my clients and reset my energy before and after speaking with clients. In other words, I do not take on anything or keep anything that doesn’t belong to me. In the same coin, I do not spread or distribute anything to you that is not meant for you. If I feel energetically unavailable to uphold these boundaries for my energetic protection and yours, I reschedule. My clients are better off when I make these decisions on their behalf and so am I.
What is your biggest challenge with self-care and how do you handle it?
A: When things are slow, they are really slow. When things are fast, they are really fast. In the slow season, you naturally sway towards piling on. In the fast season, you naturally sway towards purging. When I am under-scheduled, I worry. When I am overscheduled, I stress. This in the past year was the balance I worked towards finding to continue to honor my self-care and mental health. I made a list of what was no longer serving me and what I was ready to release. However, I learned from my past mistakes and did not release it all at once. I also learned the power of negotiating and communicating what I need so that some of things I felt I needed to let go of actually just needed to be reworked. I am saying that my fear sometimes gets the best of me. In the past, I would take on too much out of fear of not having enough (scarcity mindset) and then I would be too over exerted to be able to execute it all and focus on my self-care. I no longer do this, but it was my default for so long that I have to keep myself in check.
You posted a snippet of your time block on Instagram which I love btw, and it ended with a zoom session Breathe with me. What a great way to end the day – can you share some deets?
A: Breathe With Me is actually my main facebook group. It came a few months into 90 Days of Self Care. I host 3 day events in this group that focus on self-care, self-love, soul healing, and full life transformation in love, health, and wealth. This group is for women who are ready to put themselves first and take the action to do so. Life is truly beautiful and we focus on daily content and communion in this group to focus on stress relief, anxiety management, and living in peace daily. I host a free 3 day event each month and those in the group have access to these events. It all started from the Breath Breaks I do on instagram. I received so much feedback on how supportive they are…so I expanded on the idea!
I will extend the same offer to your community as I did to the members of the Breathe WIth Me community – Early bird pricing ( half off my typical rate) for my Ascension program of one on one Transformational Life Coaching and Intuitive Healing Sessions. Schedule a call with me and mention this blog!
Do you feel not having self-care with yourself can hinder your personal relationships?
A: Absolutely, first off how can you expect to be loved in the way you desire if you don’t even love yourself? We show people how to treat us through how we treat ourselves. How can you communicate to another how to love you when you have yet to learn how to love you, how you desire to be loved, and what that looks like for you? And on the other hand, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Our cups were meant to overflow so we can give our excess away. Anything less means you are attempting to pour from an empty cup. If you are not filling up and overflowing your own cup, how can you have anything available to give away to another. You can’t even give to yourself in this state. Be your own soul mate. Be your own best friend. Be your own soul tribe. As you become it for yourself, the universe will reflect it back to you and send more of it!
Related article: Fall into a self care staycation
How do you encourage people to feel safe enough to communicate their true feelings without getting defensive?
A: I have received feedback that people just feel safe with me. Which is a blessing. Beyond that I relate to people vs judging people. I am not perfect and I have no desire to be. Everything I speak and teach was a lesson I learned through my own struggles. I focus on listening vs being heard. I am open minded and don’t give my opinion. I communicate direct messages from divine source and although I am young, my soul is old. So, many messages and lessons lie within. I always say I too am on the journey. It is easier to speak to someone when you feel understood in some way by them. And to be understood does not always require that you agree. We all come from different walks of life and experiences. Understanding and empathizing is our middle ground.
What quick tips would you give for stress relief?
A: Take a breath break. Switch up your environment. Get some sun. Move your body in some way. Cut back on your sugar intake. Communicate your needs. Get the energy out of your body vs trapping it inside.
What would you like to see for yourself personally and for your Guided Surrender in 2022?
A: I can already feel that this will be one of my best years yet! And not just for me, but for many of us. A new chapter is being witten, we have shifted into a new phase, and I am excited for it!
Self: Tapping into my divine femine. I decided to retire my independent black woman persona. Now I am a black woman that deserves unconditional love and support. I am ready to tap into the parts of myself that I hid away to make myself indestructible. I am emotionally available, transparent, and vulnerable. I am a woman who feels safe to be a woman for the first time in my life and I plan to enjoy myself in all ways as a woman.
Guided Surrender: This year, I have declared I will grow Guided Surrender into a 6 figure business with consistent 5 figures months.
____________________________________________
5 Spotlight Questions!
What is your daily self-care routine?
I always wake up and spend time with myself before I engage with my phone, social media, or another person. I stare out the window and observe what my energy feels like. I set intentions for the day, say what I am grateful for, and journal. Then I finish with some stretches in the bed and start my day. My day schedule is usually impacted by my energy levels. I try to get a workout in and complete my list for the day. However, I am definitely someone who takes it day by day.
Best advice you received…
Favorite thing to do when you have alone time…
Binge watch netflix for sure! I love a good series with multiple seasons that I can sink my teeth into.
What would you tell your eighteen-year-old self?
It gets better babe. In the moment of our pain, we have no idea it gets better. I think my 18 year old self would benefit from hearing me assure her that it does get better.
What would be your natural talent if you weren’t doing this?
____________________________________________
Connect with Frandasia “Frannie” Williams:
Website links: www.guidedsurrender.com
Social Media links:
Email Frannie: guidedsurrenderinfo@gmail.com