Mama Bear Spotlight Sunday: Meet Mompreneur Life Coach Sandra Wingfield
Every Sunday we will be spotlighting a mompreneur that rock to be featured in our “Mama Bear Spotlight” series.
The Mama Bear Spotlight series was created to feature mompreneurs who are not only moms but also creators, writers, business owners and more. These women are showing us how they balance motherhood, passion projects, businesses all while staying true to their inner self.
As an administrative professional by day, what inspired you to want to be a Life Coach?
I’ve always known that I wanted to help people. I actually wanted to be a doctor for a really long time, but then I realized that people really need so much help on a more spiritual and emotional level and I wanted to be part of that field.
Your mission to ‘help mommies reclaim who they are’ can you share what this means?
Mamas kind of leave their identity as a woman behind when they become a mama. This can be due to a tremendous amount of societal/external pressures. Mom guilt is oppressive! It can make us feel like we dare not have something for ourselves or else we will be deemed a bad mom.
I am super passionate about mamas having a little piece just for themselves. We need a chance to fill our cups or else we will have nothing to pour from.
Becoming a new or a mom again, can be overwhelming and exhausting; what tips do suggest for a new mother who is having a hard time coping?
My number one tip is to be kind to yourself. Don’t put a time limit on your healing. Not only will your body need to rest, but stepping into motherhood is a new spiritual plane.
My second tip would be to lean on those that want to support you. I know it is very hard. I am a very strong-willed person and I pride myself on being strong and being able to do things on my own, but I wish I had let more people in emotionally and physically even to help me.
As a new mom myself with a four-month-old, plus two other school-aged children, during this time with COVID and distant learning I have noticed that my older children require more attention than my newborn. For other moms with the same issue, what advice would you share?
I recall baby-wearing being such a lifesaver for my son and I. I could get so much done around the house while wearing him. If your baby would enjoy that so they are close to you while you’re working with the older kids, definitely do that.
Additionally communicating with the older children that there will be moments where you may need to step away from the virtual schooling space to change the baby can be helpful. This way they know that you are still there for them and will be right back, it is just that the baby requires a little TLC for a few moments.
How do you balance motherhood, being an administrative and building Life Coach Sandra?
It’s a struggle some days, I can’t even lie haha. My son likes to pretend to be my coworker, so he’ll bring his desk into my office space that we have set up in the house and we co-work. He will work on his iPad, notebook, or workbook, while I work.
I am a person that works best with a timer set. So I will set a timer for us in 30-minute increments. He knows that he will need to talk to Daddy until that timer goes off. Once it goes off, he knows that I will take a break and we can play and/or get a snack.
I do try to work mostly when he is in bed, so I am pretty diligent about getting him in bed on time, so that I may have those few hours before I get in bed myself. I am not an early riser haha. I try, I do, I do, I swear I do lol. Maybe one day when I grow up haha.
For distant learner moms you also help with virtual school meal planning, please share how do you assist? Creating weekly/monthly calendars, calls, etc.?
I don’t currently have any moms that I am working within this area per say, but I do think that meal planning is a tool for all households. It allows you to take the guessing game out of what you will do during the week. It is something the whole family can participate in because the kids have choices. It can also help you save some money so you are focused on those specific ingredients when you go into the grocery store.
As a mom, where do you find your support? And for a mom who may not have that same support what would you suggest?
I find most of my support in my husband, sister, and my two oldest friends. My husband has been a parent longer than I have, so I am still learning things every day from him by observation and how he parents my child by blessing (stepdaughter). My sister is a great listener and she is usually always on my side haha. My two oldest friends are truly my cheerleaders! We bounce such tremendous ideas off each other.
For a mom who may not have that same support, I suggest attempting to make connections in mom Facebook groups. Also, use those hashtags on Instagram. I think they are really underrated. I have stumbled upon some incredible coaches by using those hashtags and managed to connect with them in virtual events and Clubhouse rooms. Attend virtual workshops when and if you can because there is always someone to learn from and you may find something that you need in that space.
Your husband plays a big part in supporting your self-acceptance journey, that’s so amazing. How do you mentally support each other during this climate season when in (COVID)?
We have to do a lot of check-ins and uplift each other. We were friends first and having that foundation of our relationship has been so vital. We are both entrepreneurs and we know those waters ebb and flow like nobody’s business. We absolutely have days where one of us sheds a tear and wants to give up, but we’re able to help remind each other of the promises we have made to ourselves and can remind each other of the goals we set for our family.
You are also a bodybuilder, please share how this came about?
The long story short is that I remember seeing True Life on MTV and there was a woman getting ready for a fitness competition and she was beautiful and STRONG! I knew from that very moment that I wanted to look like her and have her presence, she was a badass! And I am always striving to feel that way!
I have a friend who is a male bodybuilder and he was able to connect with one of his female bodybuilder friends and the rest is history.
What has been your biggest mistake in motherhood and what did you learn?
I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself. We are truly our own worst critics. I had unrealistic expectations for my physical healing.
I learned that asking for help and accepting help doesn’t make you weak, it actually makes you strong because you have the courage to let someone support you where you can’t.
How do you protect your peace?
I am good at setting boundaries and I am no longer afraid to do that. I used to worry about hurting others feelings when I needed to set a boundary, but that is no longer the case.
For a mompreneur wanting to start a business, working full-time while balancing other life obligations, what advice would you give her for staying true to her inner-self?
I must admit, this is a tough one. I am a woman of faith, so prayer and true meditation. You will need to have those conversations with God and herself in order to stay grounded and in touch with her internal needs.
Related article: Meet a Mompreneur that Rocks, Nadia Francois
5 Questions for our Mama Bears!
What is your daily self-care routine?
Besides bathing, brushing and flossing is a must! Lol, I think my smile is a signature of mine, so I do all things to ensure these teeth and gums are healthy haha.
GYM is BAE! If I can get to the gym at least 3-4 times a week, I am a happy mama!
Stretching! This we underestimate! Even on days when I don’t work out, I try to make sure I stretch.
Best advice you received when you became a mom…
The best advice that I received, that I completely ignored, was that my body would be so different after having my son and I should show myself some grace. I just thought for sure I had it all figured out.
Favorite thing to do when you have alone time…
Nothing! Haha. Seriously, sometimes you all just need to veg out haha. I also love Youtube, especially urban exploration where people go into old abandoned buildings which have incredible stories.
What would you tell your pre-mom self?
Accept the damn help! Go to the damn support group! Excuse my language, but that is what I would say to her. I needed to be in touch with other new moms more because I truly needed community,
Your proudest motherhood moment…
It’s probably right now. My son is writing in cursive and is able to read 3-4 letter words. It is incredible! He is 4 and while it makes me sad to think of my baby growing up, it is a blessing and an honor to be able to do so.