We are so excited to partner with Dr. Walter Hidalgo with a goal of being more socially aware. Here, he answers your questions and shares advice on life and wellness while living in a social media-driven world.
DEAR THE VIRGO GIRL,
I’m a single dad of a fourteen-year-old who has severe low self-esteem. I strongly blame social media and despite not allowing her own it, her friends have it, she sees it on TV or anywhere when not home. I tell her over and over again that it’s a made up a world and people don’t truly look like that. She’s a little thick for her age so children can be mean and make fun of her. I’ve asked her to work-out with me but she’s unmotivated and I don’t want to push her. What hurt me the most was the other day we were talking and I was telling her that boys will love her for her despite her looks.
She asked me if I thought she was beautiful and I said of course. She says well daddy, why don’t you date any girls that look like me? You only day girls that look like the girls on TV or Instagram. I was completely crushed and it forced me to look at my own self and who I have been dating or exposing to her. How do I answer that without being untrue to myself?
Advice from Walter: As a father to a young queen, this hit home right here. Social media much like television is not real. However, she and you…are real! With that being said, no woman or man is made alike. We all come in different shapes, colors and sizes! And for the record, just cause someone is not thin/skinnier does not mean they are not healthy or less attractive (love yourself!). Mainstream society for a long time has tried to make both women and men “look” a certain way and that is one of the biggest lies that has been told to us. What you have to understand is that what you like may not be what your daughter likes, and vice versa. In other words, what you (dad) like in women may not be what every man in the world likes (again, the same applies to your daughter). You never know what a man is/will love your daughter for who she is! When you take away the makeup, photoshop, etc. what you have is a human being – the same species as you and I.
The most important thing is to love and empower your child enough so that she will grow in love with herself first before seeking love (or a “like”) from someone else. Now we have “size plus” models and black and brown Barbie dolls, to just name a few examples. These are powerful images and movements that are inspiriting the next generation of women and if exposed to your daughter will strengthen your relationship with her while building her self-confidence.
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