We are so excited to partner with Dr. Walter Hidalgo with a goal of being more socially aware. Here, he answers your questions and shares advice on life and wellness while living in a social media-driven world.
DEAR THE VIRGO GIRL,
My boyfriend of six months won’t delete his Black People Meet account and it’s making me very insecure and frustrated. We met close to a year ago via BPM, hung out, became friends with benefits, and decided to take it to the next level. We agreed that we each would delete our accounts on the same day. I did and haven’t looked back. He removed the app from his phone but I later discovered that he is not only active on the account but never deleted it. I created a new account to see if he was on there daily, and he is, every day it says he has logged in. I asked him if he was still on dating sites and if he was happy with me; he said that he was and only has eyes for me. Should I confront him about still being active on BPM or break it off with him because I can’t trust him?
Advice from Walter: I absolutely agree that you need to confront him—but in a nonjudgmental and loving manner. Clearly there are a lot of factors here that may push one to believe there is foul play happening. However, you will never know what is driving this behavior (or lack thereof) until you confront it earnestly. Over 90 percent of our communication is body language; the rest is verbal communication (and it’s much more complex when you consider the visual/social media world that we are living in). As time progresses so should a relationship, hence the phrase “I want to build with my partner.” If you are not building your relationship and are still stuck on the foundation, how do you expect to see over the horizon?
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