After reading Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil, Anthony Lamarr’s blog about different social issues and accounts occurring in his life, my interest was piqued to learn more about this amazing author. His blog drew me in and intrigued every curious cell in my body, and I wanted to know more about this man. Luckily, I was offered the chance to ask him questions pertaining to parenthood, the effects of technology on the younger generation, and how a mother’s perspective of her partner can affect their child’s life. Anthony Lamarr’s novels The Pages We Forget and Our First Love are entertaining and definite page turners. You should add these books to your reading list and continue to support this remarkable author in his career as a novelist, screenwriter, and playwright as well.
THE DAD SHE WILL REMEMBER
What does memory mean to you and what inspired you to write this piece?
Writing this piece was difficult yet rewarding. I don’t have any children, so my brothers’ and sister’s children are my children. My brother Ken died in a car accident in 2008 when his daughter Kennadie wasn’t even two years old. Kennadie is eight now and has begun to ask questions about her father: What was he like? What did he like to do? What was his favorite color? What did he like to eat? It is natural for her to want to know who her father was, and as his older brother, I’m usually the person she turns to for answers. So, whenever she asks me a question about her dad, I know that thirty years from now when she thinks about him, the person she will recall or envision will be based on the memories I’ve painted for her.
WHAT GRANDMA SAID ABOUT YOUR DEADBEAT DAD
Do mothers need to make their kids feel bad or act awkward toward their father when they fail in their responsibilities?
I don’t think mothers or even custodial fathers should do this, but I know several mothers who are guilty of it, mine included. My mother was a single parent, and whenever my dad didn’t do what she expected, she didn’t keep it a secret. However, I wrote this piece because my mother had an entirely new outlook about this when it came to her son. She didn’t mind telling my nieces and nephews that everything she did for them came from their father.
In your opinion, what is the number one quality a good parent should possess?
A good parent needs to possess several qualities, but I think the most important is the capacity to love unconditionally. My mother had three sons who were all different, but she loved each of us unconditionally. And she loved us a lot. She was deeply religious, but if God had called upon her instead of Abraham, that biblical story may have had a different ending. So I’m grateful He didn’t.
What are the issues that may be preventing a child’s father from being the supportive parent he would like to be?
My play, Calming the Man, explores the inherent anger that prevents many young black men from completely finding the individual or man they are supposed to become. Growing up in broken homes and in a society that sometimes relegates them to a secondary or invisible status can leave a man scarred and unable to function effectively as a father. And, the lack of a father figure in his own life can further exasperate his efforts to be a good parent because he doesn’t know exactly what his role as a father should entail.
WHERE IS PEGGY
Should affection for friends deprive us of courtesy?
People seem to have forgotten how to be courteous to each other. We are more connected than ever by technology, and this lack of face-to-face interaction has turned us into a society of people lacking social skills and grace. That’s what we’re missing. Grace.
HOW MOMMA RAISED GOOD CHILDREN
In your opinion, how has technology had an impact on parents raising their children?
I think too many parents are allowing technology to raise their kids. I see far too many children under age ten with cell phones, electronic gadgets, and their own social media accounts, which can be very disruptive to a child’s learning and even dangerous. As a former teacher, I’ve witnessed firsthand the difficulty some students have when it comes to reading a book because the words and visuals aren’t jumping around the page. I think a child’s use of technology should grow with their age and scholastic abilities.
What is a misconception about the younger generation today?
I think the biggest misconception is that the younger generation is lost. That is insane. I’m a former teacher and I’ve taught students who were so gifted and ambitious that I struggled to keep up with them. I even learned a few things from some of them. I think this misunderstanding comes from people who only see and consider the “bad apples” of the bunch.
How can we connect with you?
Find me on Twitter and my website: www.tellthetruthandshamethedevil.org.
VIRGO GIRL 5 THINGS TO ASK:
What would you tell your 21-year-old self?
I would read the tale of the tortoise and the hare to my twenty-one-year-old self, and then tell myself to make sure he enjoys the race not just the win.
I start my day with . . .
Two cups of coffee as I read and respond to my e-mails followed by a quick review of the day’s news.
If you could invite any woman to dinner, who would it be?
I would invite my best friend, Cherina, to come have dinner with me, Oprah, Toni Morrison, Venus and Serena, Halle, Ava DuVernay, Cher, Michelle Obama, Robin Roberts, Beyoncé and Destiny’s Child, Diana Ross and the Supremes, Meryl, Julia Roberts, Condoleezza Rice, Debra Lee, Tyra, Taraji, and Whoopi. Talk about dinner!!!!
Best advice you have received?
The best advice I ever received changes according to the mood I’m in or the problem I’m having. But, if I had to choose just one piece of advice, it would have to be this gem from my mother: If anybody has a problem with who you are, tell them your momma said to go see her.
And I didn’t have a problem telling people what my momma said.
Life motto you live by?
It ain’t over till it’s over.