We are so excited to partner with Dr. Walter Hidalgo with a goal of being more socially aware. Here, he answers your questions and shares advice on life and wellness while living in a social media-driven world.
DEAR THE VIRGO GIRL,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and I haven’t met a single friend or family member. He has met all my friends and some of my immediate family. But when I ask him to meet his circle he says he doesn’t have anyone and keeps to himself. I will admit that we spend the majority of our time together watching Netflix or playing cards and I rarely see him go out, but I know he has to have someone. He does enjoy sports and goes to the bar on occasion to watch games, but he says he goes alone to have a beer and enjoy the social scene. When I ask about his family he responds that they aren’t that close. We are friends on Facebook and I see that he has friends on there that are always inviting him to different functions or liking his pictures, which I ask about and he tells me I’m being annoying. He doesn’t want to change his FB status to in a relationship or allow me to meet anyone, not even his coworkers. Should I be worried? Oh, we are twenty-five and twenty-six.
Advice from Walter: Life has become much more nuanced in the age of social media! But nevertheless, there are a lot of red flags here that would make one believe there is foul play happening. However, one cannot assume anything without confronting the individual in a nonjudgmental and loving manner. We never know what is going through someone else’s mind without inquiring. For all we know he doesn’t have a great relationship with his family or for that matter might have a history of being antisocial (which is one advantage of meeting people online). But again, if expectations have been met in the past they need to be addressed again (and again) in order to build a relationship and not stay stuck on its foundation.
***