xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf:
I just turned 40 and ready to launch my business, but I’m also ready to have a baby. My friends tell me to do both, but I want to focus on one thing first before I do the other. I work better that way. I know my biological clock is ticking, but I also feel that I want stability and financial freedom when I have children. I’m so indecisive. Do I have a baby, business or both?
Answer:
I want you to think of your business like having a child, because both require a lot of your time! So, it really doesn’t matter which you have first but it does matter how you prepare. Starting a business in the beginning requires more time then your traditional 9-5 job where after you are done you come home and care for your child. In a business, however, you are dealing with many moving parts and people so there is no 9 to 5. Ergo, are you ready to balance those long hours with the long hours that will be required to raise a child?
We know in the beginning of raising a kid requires 24 hours work due to babies sleeping incrementally for the first year or so not including constant rest and food, etc. With a business, the same amount of time and energy is needed in order to sustain it. So, all in all, both require a tremendous amount of time and care in order to see the fruits later in life. Again, I would focus more on preparing for this (i.e. hiring a babysitter, building a team to sustain the company, balancing time with your child, support from your partner, etc.) then thinking on who or what should come first.
Related article: xoSelf: Am I a Bad Mother to Want to Build My Business First?
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.