xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: My husband told me the other day he would like to spice up our sex life. I have been so career-driven for so long sex is not a top priority for me. I would like to spice it up for him but don’t want to adhere to the cliche of a threesome; any other tips on ways to make it spicy that I could do regularly?
Answer: Sex fantasy is a touchy topic because we all have fantasies and they may or may not align with your partner. So, how do you meet in the middle? In this case, have you considered role playing? Maybe getting into a different character gives your partner the impression that he is with “someone else.” Or, maybe consider watching porno together to explore your horizons. In either case, finding that happy medium will take your relationship to the next level without compromising it.
Related article: How Often Should Couples Have Sex?
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-basedinstitutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he
has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to