xoSelf: I am a Great Chef with no Family Support

xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.

Dear xoSelf: My family does not support my cooking or creativity. I am a personal chef and work with high-end high profile clients. However, at home, my partner and children hate my cooking. They only want to eat fast food or simple meals. I get it everyone has a food preference, but it’s such a discouragement when everyone outside of my home enjoys my cooking but my only family won’t touch it. I try to make different things for them that they enjoy other places, but they still don’t like – because I make the healthier version. Am I making a big deal out of this? 

Answer: Changing food is like changing religions – it’s not that easy!  First, understand that you need to separate work life from family life.  While your client’s outlook on food and health is different from your family it doesn’t mean they do not enjoy your cooking.  If you want your family to transition into a healthier lifestyle it doesn’t always start at the dinner table; it starts with a conversation.  You have to understand that you are competing with commercials that invest millions of dollars to sell their (fast) food.  So, you have to approach this little by little before making drastic changes.  Consider having salad as part of each meal, to begin with.  Or, maybe have the family watch documentaries on food (i.e. “What the Health? or “Cowspiracy”) together.  Maybe have one of your clients do a video testimony of your dishes explaining why he/she loves your cooking and what health benefits come from this eating lifestyle.  Then, show it to your kids as a way to motivate them.  In summation, start slow and build your way up!       

Related article: Healthy Tips with Toni to Roll into the New Year

Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based
institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he
has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to