xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.
Dear xoSelf: I have four children from ages two to seventeen and everyone tells me that they are spoiled and walk all over me. I don’t think they are spoiled, but do have the freedom to express themselves and get what they want if they earn the money by working. I admit that I am not as strict as more parents, but I do have a firm grip. How do I ignore unsolicited parenting advice?
Answer:
As a parent, I can relate to this and if there is one thing I learned as both a parent and educator is that no one has the answers. In other words, we cannot assume what a parent is doing is right or wrong because there is no manual for raising children. However, it’s important that you be mindful and aware of your children not just from your perspective but also objectively. That is to say, be open minded about learning from other people’s mistakes (wisdom) and small victories (motivation).
Related article: Co-Parenting with an Ex-Boyfriend and His Wife
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Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.