xoSelf: Should I send my ADHD Teen to Boarding School?

xoSelf (short for Love Yourself)) is a weekly advice series where women can anonymously seek advice on topics about relationships, work, finding themselves or life challenges. xoSelf is responded to by educator & life coach Dr. Walter Hidalgo.

Dear xoSelf: Hey a Curvy Mom Column, my 17-year-old son has ADHD, and he is at a stage where I do not know how to handle him anymore. He is the sweetest boy, but he has a side to him that I don’t understand. I am a single mom and often work a lot. He needs more attention than I can give him at this point. He has behavioral issues, an anger problem and talks back so much that my pressure is high. I am thinking of sending him to military style boarding school, but I feel as though I’m failing him and myself as a mother. Should I send him to boarding school?

Answer:

We tend to provide a “quick fix” by sending our kid(s) away in hopes that they will come back transformed. While that may work for some people it doesn’t work for all. Your child, therefore, might resent you if you take him or her away. Ergo, I would encourage you to seek professional help, possibly a therapist, so that you can make a more informed decision.

Nevertheless, Dr. Umar Johnson, a notable child psychologist, said it best: “ADHD stands for Absent Dad at Home Disease…” We forget the importance of having a male figure in the house especially when you are raising a young man by yourself. What happens is since dad is not around our young men tend to think they are the “man of the house” so they in turn put themselves of equal status to you. As a result, he doesn’t take you too seriously especially if he is bigger than you in stature. Ergo, I recommend incorporating a male figure into his life either as a mentor, coach, big brother and/or combination of them all.

I work with an organization called the Elite Method where we provide all of those resources for youth in the privacy of their own homes. In other words, we travel to your house to provide social emotional skills and sports training, to name a few. Consider signing him up or to something similar so that he can gain different perspectives on life while fostering a safe space to allow his emotions and overall voice to be heard.

Good luck!

______________________________________

Dr. Walter Hidalgo is an educator and coach. He has a master’s of arts in Church History and Sociology from Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University and a doctorate from New York Theological Seminary where his focus was on the intersectionality between Hip-hop culture and socio-spiritual movements. He has taught in universities, high schools, prisons, not-for-profit organizations, and faith-based institutions from all over the world. And finally, he is the author of the critically acclaimed book, “Beyond the Four Walls: The Rising Ministry and Spirituality of Hip-hop” where he has worked with numerous Hip-hop artists, educators, and youth from all over the world to create spaces of fun and empowerment.

xoSelf: Should I send my ADHD Teen to Boarding School?

Sign up for the exclusive a Curvy Mom newsletter for weekly doses of empowerment, wellness and productivity tips straight to your inbox

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply